The lovely Lisa at Writing in the Buff hosts Book Blurb Friday. Each week Lisa posts a pretend book cover to fire our imaginations. Our task is to write the book blurb for the back cover in 150 words or less.
Awk Wood Landing  Snurg Druggleborf, Master of a Thousand Star Systems (uninhabited), Destroyer of the Dreaded Galactic Nim (accidental), Richest Being for a Billion Parsecs (it had been further, but then Garx Unglehesk the Acquisitive moved to the Vega System), is having problems. He had identified the next target in his galactic conquest strategy – a minor planet orbiting an insignificant star, inhabited by low grade carbon based life forms with moderate technology and mountains of succulent organic waste. But then he crash landed and discovered his terrible mistake. The sentient beings on the planet turn out not to be the multi-limbed and micro-tentacled species that look like him after all, but fat, blobby bi-pedal murderers that wield axes and chain saws. He needs to replace the bi-phase dimension extrapolator but he’s lost his crew in the woods, and the bi-pedes are coming for them. Now it’s snowing. And he’s coming out in buds..... |
150 words.
That is hilarious! I love the misshaps throughout the blurb - real laugh out loud writing :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I really want to feel sorry for Snurg...but then, wait...?!! Still, I do hope he escapes those blobby bi-pedal murderers! Love every word!
ReplyDeleteDom, you are too funny! Love it!
ReplyDelete— K
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
Definitely emanating from an alien brain this ... brilliant names!
ReplyDeleteAwk Wood Landing! LOL!! Loved the title and the blurb - so so so funny - thank you!!! It's very Terry Pratchett like - especially the last line! Excellent stuff! Take care
ReplyDeletex
Hahaha!! You cracked me up before I finished the first paragraph. This is amazing! What brand tea are you drinking, Dom?? I want some!
ReplyDeleteHee hee! Excellent!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant! I love it ... I feel like Douglas Adams got resurrected right here!! I actually wish you would write this book. It would be a fun read. Loved this!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Dominic, how long did it take you to come up with the names? Creativity supreme!
ReplyDelete"fat, blobby bi-pedal murderers"
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to tell you how honored I am to be included in your tale. I'd say more, but I've got to grab my ax and head on out to Awk Wood.
Thanks for the best smile of the day.
Now that sounds almost like a Harry Harrison. Very tongue-in-cheek!
ReplyDeleteHey Dom I've got 2 flash fiction posts up when you have a mo' :O)
This would be a great book to read! Awesome job :)
ReplyDeleteGod damn that snow.........
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff Dominic. :)
What a scream - had me laughing out loud from the off! I was especially taken with the caveats at the beginning - very clever!
ReplyDeleteLOL. He sounds like quite the character! :D
ReplyDeleteHaha! Chainsaw wielding bi-pedes are always fun.
ReplyDeleteJai
I really enjoyed this excerpt. How fun and inventive.
ReplyDeleteSnort. Snort. Poor Snurg, he clearly underestimated the third rock from the Sun. Genius. Utter genius!
ReplyDeleteEllie Garratt