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Saturday, 15 January 2011

Sir Gillyhen and the Princess

$30/£20 TO BE WON

Misty Waters at Writer's Block ~ Oh wait! I mean Blog... is hosting a great show and tell blogfest. Choose a picture and write two pieces about it - one telling and one showing.
(I know it's Show vs Tell but my kids had their fair share of show and tell, and it kinda sticks!)

I have chosen a picture of Sir Gillyhen and the Princess


Sir Gillyhen bravely faced the great dragon that loomed above him. He lowered his lance and charged the fearsome beast, knowing that, at any moment, a searing blast of fire might incinerate him. The creature raised its foreleg, with long, vicious claws stretched out, just as the knight closed the gap between them. His lance struck the leg and shattered against the steel-like hide. The force of the impact lifted Sir Gillyhen off his horse and dumped him unceremoniously on his vambrace. With a howl, the dragon lumbered three-legged across the meadow, taking ungainly to the air, while the knight struggled to his feet. Sir Gillyhen watched the great beast fly off over the forest until it descended into the trees a mile or so away. He sighed and looked at the thick undergrowth between the tree trunks. It would be hard work, but he was on a quest to rescue the princess and no mere undergrowth would stand in his way.
The king had entrusted this charge to him, and after the fiasco with the frog he was determined to prove his worth. He had apologised to the princess profusely for months, but really, it is very hard to see where one is putting one’s feet with the visor down, and how was he supposed to know it was a talking frog?
Leaving his steed tied to a tree, Sir Gillyhen pushed his way through the trees. The going was tough and soon he was feeling very hot. After half an hour of slow progress the knight heard the welcome sound of running water, and soon came to a clearing where a waterfall tumbled into a deep pool. He slaked his thirst and, feeling refreshed, he went on his way, but not without a wistful look at the inviting tarn. If he were a shepherd boy, he reflected, it would be so easy to slip off his tunic and sandals and plunge into the cool water.
After another half an hour of struggling through the trees, Sir Gillyhen heard a low moaning sound. He moved forward more cautiously. He could make out a sunlit clearing ahead and it seemed the dragon was occupying most of it. Then Sir Gillyhen heard the unmistakable voice of the princess. Without a moment’s hesitation, he leapt forwards calling out “Don’t worry Princess, I will save you!”
He should have been forewarned by the petrified look in the dragon’s eyes, but he was out of the trees before he saw the princess bending over its paw. A medical box lay open on the grass and the dragon’s leg was swathed in bandages. He skidded to a halt and a horrible feeling began to creep over him. The princess turned slowly, looking very angry.
“You!” she said, pointing her finger at him.

I will return tomorrow with my showing story.


  1. You made me giggle with the frog fiasco!


  2. Great ending. Made me smile. I like that you're doing a two-parter instead of all at once. Such effotless telling that flows well. :O)

  3. Wow!!!! What a fab twist at the end!!! I was riveted from start to finish!! Your telling here works a treat - thank you! Take care

  4. I was just saying on another entry. . . sometimes telling isn't always a terrible thing (and every story needs some of it) if it's done well. Your telling is engaging. Can't wait to see your Show.

    And I especially enjoyed it, since we chose the same picture to illustrate. :D

  5. Thank you everyone for your comments :D

    In the end it's all about balance - using showing when showing is stronger and using telling when the pace requires it. :)

  6. This may sound weird, but I like the telling one better. It has more voice, more spunk to it. So, I agree with Tracy, telling isn't always bad.

    I loved the frog reference too. Great job!

  7. I loved the way you wrapped up the story. The ending is fabulous. Your writing has a great visual quality which brings me right into the magic and fantasy of this world. Awesome!

  8. I loved "after the fiasco with thr frog"! Hehehehe.


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